writing prompt: No RAGERTS
I regret not surrendering my life fully to the Lord earlier. I feel like if I had let go of habits and fears sooner, I’d be further along in my journey than I am now. I spent a lot of time bottling issues or pushing them down out of my mind instead of facing them and being honest with myself in a raw way. A lot of that is due to pride. I pretended those parts of myself didn’t exist so I wouldn’t have to look at my own brokenness. I’d just cover them with a blanket statement of self-loathing. It seems easier to call yourself worthless and unlovable than it is to say you don’t react well to criticism or you can be super judgmental or you lack the ability to genuinely, honestly open up to anyone. It’s hard to reconcile your fear of abandonment with your desire for closeness and community when you’ve been taught that people can betray you at any point- sometimes for no reason at all. Obviously there’s a part of me that is disappointed with where I am in life right now. I don’t want to